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Thread: Friday Linkage--Try a Little Compassion

  1. #1
    Yeah, I'm getting to it.. Zippity's Avatar
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    Default Friday Linkage--Try a Little Compassion

    http://www.everydaysuperwoman.com/blog/?p=22

    Yarn Harlot has a great blog entry about kids being welcome at her book signings.

    The funny part is that DS11 does not tolerate screaming babies well, and he doesn't distinguish well between happy and non-happy noises (although he gets far more upset by the non-happy noises.) He'll bite himself to stay in control and deal with the rising frustration he feels in these cases. I often have to remove *him* from situations where babies are disruptive, but it's not with any sense of ire or upset on my part, unless someone is just truly being inconsiderate. DS11 and I talk a lot about what it means and how he can handle it. Crying babies are a learning situation for us--and something he must learn to deal with. We don't have them at home, so we try to make the most of what happens when we're out of the house!

    And usually a kid in full meltdown mode just makes me really glad I don't have to deal with it.

    "I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do."

    - Leonardo Da Vinci

    "I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart."

    - Vincent Van Gogh


  2. #2
    Stealth Dog mommymath's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friday Linkage--Try a Little Compassion

    Beautifully put, by both you and her, Zip!


    "Love cannot be killed or swept aside ... Now fill the world with music , love , and PRIDE. " - Lin-Manuel Miranda

    Salam. Shalom. Aloha. Paz. Aman. Heiwa. Sula. Friede. Amniat. Peace.

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    Administrator rskmom's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friday Linkage--Try a Little Compassion

    I couldn't agree more. My one Ds9 can be highly agitated by crowds and noise.

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    OMGOMGOMG!! Scarletwing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friday Linkage--Try a Little Compassion

    At Wally-World late last week there was a kiddo who clearly wasn't happy about his mommy's choices in produce. He's squeeling away when I not only heard but saw a older lady screech over 2 isles, and the noise of the child, 'SHUT THAT KID UP!' Wow. Mature. R.E.A.L. mature.

    I think people in society need to be a bit more tollerant on the whole. Not just when dealing with kids. The poor (or at least someone who is in a lower tax bracket than themselves), folks of different backgrounds and religeons and such. A little understanding and compassion goes a long way.
    Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits. ~Author Unknown

  5. #5

    Default Re: Friday Linkage--Try a Little Compassion

    I agree that more compassion for everyone as a whole is really needed. My eldest is 22 now and when he and I are out in public he is still pretty far off the perception of what "normal" behavior is. Most people figure out from my interactions w/ him that something is not quite normal with him (and this is hard for folks to determine readily as he looks normal in the sense that means for society today). But every once in a while you get that clueless person who says something or just flat out stares.

    Because Chet really doesn't mind if I explain, I tend to do that. Just very conversationally "I am sure you understand. My eldest is autistic and is still learning the intricacies of some social situations." People then tend to feel "geez I should cut some slack (good) or perhaps feel like a doofus for being insensitive (better) and it stops most things from escalation.

    Lee

  6. #6
    buzzing through... gini's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friday Linkage--Try a Little Compassion

    My youngest son has some very significant speech and communication issues related to Autism. Not long ago we were at a kid centered event of some kind and he was trying to tell a gentleman what he wanted. This grandfatherly like man was obviously having a very hard time understanding him but despite the fact that we had a line behind us he bent down, asked my son to repeat what he needed very slowely and worked to get it right. My son was so happy that this man was willing to take the time. A women in the line right behind us said loudly to no one in particular to get the retarded boy moving, there is too long a line and he won't know the difference. My son turned around and very calmly and clearly said in a loud voice "I am very smart and I know what I want, leave me alone, please". She left the line when the other adults in the line clapped for my son, I'm sure because she was embarrassed. The gentleman helping my son was actually beaming with apparent pride when all this resolved and looked at me and said that it is too bad that the world is so intolerant of anything that is different or inconvenient. He then went back to taking his time with my son and got it right.

    I realize that in this particular instance my son was being calm and really not disruptive, just slow. I have had experiences when one of my boys have had meltdowns in public and have truely been disruptive. Horribly disruptive. Those times are hard on everyone but even a kind understanding look from a stranger can really make all the difference. I have even been fortunate at one time to have a store employee at Target help me get my two others to the car with me so that I could keep my raging child safe and get him home.

    We try to carefully choose the time of day and what and where we take the boys. I review the rules and expectations each time, I do challenge them with handing more situations that may be a bit uncomfortable but I make sure that they have the support and know the expectations. Over time they have really done better and better. Some things though, I just know are too much and we either find a babysitter or just don't go.

    Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
    Ellen Goodman - American journalist

  7. #7
    Yeah, I'm getting to it.. Zippity's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friday Linkage--Try a Little Compassion

    :high5: Way to GO, Gini's DS!
    "I have been impressed with the urgency of doing. Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Being willing is not enough; we must do."

    - Leonardo Da Vinci

    "I am seeking, I am striving, I am in it with all my heart."

    - Vincent Van Gogh


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    Stealth Dog mommymath's Avatar
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    Default Re: Friday Linkage--Try a Little Compassion

    :2up: :2up: :2up: to Gini's DS!! That ROCKS! :2up: :2up: :2up:
    "Love cannot be killed or swept aside ... Now fill the world with music , love , and PRIDE. " - Lin-Manuel Miranda

    Salam. Shalom. Aloha. Paz. Aman. Heiwa. Sula. Friede. Amniat. Peace.

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